Becoming.

sonshine30Todd asked me recently… why don’t you write anymore?  I quickly responded… “well, I do, sorta.”

Then, I looked at my posted dates of my blog – many being stamped with seasons skipped in between.  Point taken.   Recently, I’ve devoted a bit more time to wood carving – pretty much on purpose.    It switched my creative output to a visual versus a narrative – where no words are needed.   And I think this is why….

When our boys were tippy toeing and toddler talking, I was so enamored by them.  I once heard that a baby is a kiss away from heaven.  It’s heaven’s latest news.  I believe that they simply remembered the One that breathed them into existence.   Once earthbound, our innocent children, wrapped in wonder, remind us who we are.  My children, in their toddler years, awakened a creativity in me that I’m so grateful for.  Without fear, without ego, each started out with an open heart and insatiable mind.

My favorite memory was when driving over the Walt Whitman bridge heading into Philadelphia – Addison looked at the smoke stacks from an industrial building and said, “look it’s making clouds.”  The innocence of cloud making vs. the reality of pollution is the evolution of education.  Our boys have now gone from looking at the world being in communion with God versus the reality of the world that seems to be disconnected, divided and instant.

When you see a child, you see Hope.  When you listen to a child speak, you feel Hope.  When you see an elder, you see Wisdom.  When you listen to an elder you hear Wisdom.  Babies and Elders feed our soul.  Then, there’s the in-between years of seeing outward and moving inward.  Our children are no longer toddlers and they are seeing outward.   They’re learning of a world that’s unfair and unkind.   Speaking secular, they’re starting to view success as the world views it.    They start to celebrate the things that the world celebrates.  So as the same new mind that took in the world with wonder, starts to navigate the world by competition and status.    Our older sons are becoming aware of themselves and there’s a constant branding of who they want to be seen as.  Please don’t get me wrong… our  boys still have innocent moments.  They still have many things to learn and many more exciting things to experience.  Their world continues to expand as they physically do; however, we are in constant need of temperance with the material side of expansion.

As they begin adolescence, I feel that I’m called deep.  Inward.    I work hard at being mindful to lift up the world’s veil and see the creations of who set this all in motion.   So my well of words have not flown to paper rather I’ve been reading like my life depends on it – healing mind viruses, and filling the noggin with wise authors, dead poets, prophets, theologians, artist, athletes and friends that do the hard and show me the way.  A God who constantly whispers to come and follow when inward, outward on anywhere in between.

I suppose just like the evolution of the cloud maker to pollution spreader… our boys inward journey will evolve.  I will keep reminding them of who they’re not.  A well of words may spring to blog.  Or I may continue to learn and listen.    So, “Sonshine” whatever the brand – is evolving and becoming….. with the intention to create beautiful from the broken, to renew the spirit after the mistakes and recycle the messiness of life…. because nothing is wasted.

Just like the repurposed cedar that I use in my art.

Thank you for being on this journey with me – I’ll keep the light on.

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